A reason... to live or to die.
I'm almost done, but before you go, I am going to say this -- death is a choice. Suicide is a choice.
You may feel like you've made a lot of bad choices in your life up to now. Maybe that's why you
feel like you're in this situation now. Suicide would be, perhaps, the final bad choice you can
make. But guess what? You're still reading this... And that tells me you still have a little hope,
like I did. A little hope that maybe, just maybe, things will get better. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe
not even next week. But they will get better, if you can just hold on.
There's a saying that comes from AA, One day at a time. I once had to live every day for
over a week or two waking up in the morning and making a conscious choice to live that one day.
Just for one day. I would decide. I had to sit there in bed and think about it, really hard.
Would it be worth it? Could I do it? I never really knew. Maybe I had faith, maybe I had luck.
Maybe I was just dumber than you are. But I literally lived one day at a time for two weeks
until the feelings subsided and life came back to me.
You too, now, need to live one day at a time. For today, for tomorrow, and maybe for another
week or two. It's not going to be easy, I'm not going to lie to you. Some people will still not
make it. But chances are, if you are still reading these glowing words, you will.
You will make it. You can live.
You're online now, so maybe online is a good place to start to find a way to reach out.
You can email The Samaritans, a non-profit, UK-based charity organization that is staffed
by volunteers willing and ready to respond. Their email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
If you'd rather be more anonymous when you write them, go hit Hotmail or Mail.com for
a free email address. This is about only giving you the help you want, not help you don't want.
If you'd rather, you can pick up the telephone instead. You don't need to call a suicide
helpline if you don't want. Call a friend and just talk to them for a few minutes. You don't
have to tell them the real reason you're calling, but sometimes just hearing that familiar
voice can help. If you'd rather talk to someone anonymously (which is often easier for most
people), consider calling toll-free 1-800-784-2433. This is the National Hopeline
Network in the US and is staffed 24 hours a day by volunteers. They don't want to talk you
out of anything, they just want to talk you into living for another day. Trust me, those
are two very different things. (If you are international, go visit Suicide Helplines for a list of phone numbers in your country.)
Finally, I have only this to say...
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