A reason... to live or to die.
Decreasing the pain
So how do you decrease the pain? That's the magical question. And why should you even care to?
I mean, what's the point?? It could happen again. You could get hurt again. What's the point??
I can't tell you what the point is. I don't know. But one of the reasons I decided to stay
alive was because I knew that life still held a lot of potential and I still had many things
left undone. I never climbed a mountain, saw another country (Canada doesn't count), or
found someone who really appreciated and accepted me for who I was. I wanted those things,
I wanted so much more. And at that moment, I didn't think any of that was ever going to
happen. Like you, I saw no point any longer. But there was a small part of me that still
hoped, that still wanted, that still felt like maybe, just maybe, there was a reason to
at least try to decrease the pain.
Decreasing the pain isn't easy, as one of the easiest ways to do so is simply to keep
living and let time heal the raw feelings. Time. Yes, that stupid old adage. Time gives
us perspective, teaches us what's important to us now probably isn't half as important
when we look back at it 10 years from now. Or even 10 days. That's all you need do, is
get through one more day. And the next. Don't look any further than that. If you can
just give yourself one day. 24 hours. No, you're not going to feel magically better.
No, it's not going to be much easier tomorrow. But one day is sometimes all it takes
to get to the next day. And the next. Before you know it, 10 days have passed and
these thoughts you're having tonight are going to look a little less pressured.
Just because you feel the pain doesn't mean you have to act on it today. Take a day to
consider that the pain you are feeling right now is going to be just a little less
intense one week from today, and even less intense one month from today. For most
people, they won't even remember the intensity of the pain and feelings they
experienced while contemplating suicide a year from that very same date.
The pain fades away and life takes its place. If want to relieve the pain,
dying is not the easiest way to do so. You're not only taking away the negative
feeling of pain, but also the positive feeling of relief from pain. So whatever
relief you think you may feel upon your death is not actually going to be felt.
Because you'll be dead. Dead people don't feel. That may seem stupid and obvious,
but we sometimes forget the obvious when the pain is so intense.
Remember, suicide is a temporary feeling and reaction to overwhelming pain.
Suicide is a very permanent solution to this temporary question. Imagine destroying
an entire city to rid it of a single cockroach. When we decide to actually take our
own life, that is the equivalent of what we're doing. We are taking all the potential,
the hope, the possible future achievements (both great and small), the creativity,
the history and the life, and destroying it to rid ourselves of one feeling, pain.
Talk about overkill. No, let's talk about increasing
coping resources instead...
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