A reason... to live or to die.

What it is

The thing is, we forget what suicide really is. It's not an end to itself. It doesn't really relieve us of the pain we're so desperate to get rid of. Instead it just transfers the pain to all of your friends and family. But that's not the real issue with suicide.

Suicide is a symptom. It's not a disorder like depression or anxiety. It's a symptom of a disorder, however, most often depression. And it strikes when we're least capable of dealing of fighting back. When the pain is too overwhelming to our coping ability, suicide becomes a reasonable option. And when I say "reasonable", I mean it seems like a decision that will really help us in the long run. It'll finally put an end to all the pain.

Suicide is right now, for you, just a thought. You haven't acted on it to any degree that you are absolutely lost yet. Just because you're thinking this thought doesn't mean you're a bad person or that all hope is lost. Remember, all people have thought about suicide at one point or another in their lives. Thinking about something and then acting on it are two different things. Just because you feel the way that you do at this moment doesn't make it inevitable that you have to act on it. We live much of our lives not acting immediately or haphazardly upon our feelings. We take time to think about what those feelings mean, and whether it's in our best interests to act upon them. Even when all that we're feeling is so much pain.

All the pain. How much pain are we talking about? For most people, we're not talking about a lifetime of pain, even though it may feel like that right now. No, we're usually talking about a specific event or a time that measures in days or weeks. But not a lifetime. So let's be real and truthful here. You haven't been hurting all of your life. If you think long and hard enough, you will recall a time when life wasn't so hard, when it was actually pretty good. Yes, that wasn't yesterday. Maybe you can't even remember a good time this past year.

But that's okay. I just wanted us to be clear about how much pain we're talking about here. For most, it's not a lifetime. But it is intense. And it is real. And it's happening now.

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